At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
