So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
