Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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