we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
