If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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