I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
