if i died would you start the facebook group?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
