you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
