We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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