I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
send nudes
from the living room?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
