I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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