Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
