Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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