Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
