420 ftw
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
