I hope mine doesn't look like that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
