Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
