thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
