The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
