Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
false alarm. still invincible.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
