On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
