seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
