we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
