Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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