i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
