We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
