just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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