it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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