i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
