i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
