He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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