oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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