rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize