Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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