My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize