my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
