He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
