3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
