Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
