wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
