my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
