i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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