i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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