I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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