I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
