found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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