Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
