Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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