I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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