Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
